


I was born to love you

by ItzeldaVersus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Ahsoka tags along, Anakin Skywalker Leaves the Jedi Order, Anakin has reflections about his bad past deeds, Anakin is a widower, Anakin is confused and lost and has no idea how parenting works, Anakin mourns, Confusing, Death in Childbirth, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, In Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Obi-Wan is the loved parent, Obi-Wan is there to provide the help he needs, Obi-wan kenobi helps, Obi-wan makes that decision for both of them, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Single Parents, Slow Build, Slow Burn, The good parts start later, Widowed, obi-wan basically adopts the twins as step dad, obi-wan is oblivious, obikin, twin babies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-04-07 14:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItzeldaVersus/pseuds/ItzeldaVersus
Summary: Anakin Skywalker isn't prepared to face all the changes he is currently being thrown upon. As he reflects on his not so good deeds; he laments his wife's passing after child-birth, leaving him to take care of their newly twin infants. Obi-Wan Kenobi has officially rescinded from the Jedi Order to go with him and help him raise the twins. Nothing makes any sense and Anakin Skywalker is unsure if he is reading things off wrongly, could he be?[AKA Anakin is very confused, a very hot mess of a parent, very scared yet comforted with his master's help as he embarks on a mission even more dangerous than any that could have awaited him in the Jedi Council: Life as a single parent after his wife passed away. Needless to say, he's never felt more relieved to have his master help him out.]





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there,
> 
> This is my second work in the series. I am a big Obi-Wan Kenobi fan and love the ObiKin. As I was reading stories on here, I realized that this concept hasn't been used a lot before and so I decided to roll with this idea and see how it goes. The one thing I do warn is minor violence, minor character deaths, slow burn romance, domestic family situation, slice of life, sad/comfort, and other things to be expected. I have some of the story written and figured out but the later parts are still unsure. This story gets a move on very slowly, it is a slow build mainly what with Anakin remembers and flashbacks and such. It explores Anakin the most and I am still unsure why if he is not my favorite character but I guess I'm used to my stories going this way. I hope this is enjoyable to read at least, feel free to let me know.

Beginning

The sudden collapse of the sun and the notion of light completely faded away to the jaded darkness. It was utterly unfathomable, completely unbelievable, strikingly and—oh, so excruciatingly painful but not dissimilar. He had known this kind of melancholy and hopelessness and unfair rage once before in his short yet struggled life.

  
That first time in which he suffered and drowned himself in misery and agony, he took out all his hatred on those responsible for her death. Yes, he unashamedly in cold blood murdered a whole village of Tusken Raiders to seek revenge and feel whole once more. He slaughtered every single one of them without a proper care in any galaxy nor remorse after the fact. He was unaware of the voice requesting for him to stop and halt at once: Qui-Gon Jinn’s voice, an ignored shrilling cry. The remains of who was to be his Jedi Master, completely unheeded by the spiking anger that burst through his entire being. Menacing to end every single culprit bastard for her death, and it wasn’t an unfollowed threat.

  
Almost instantly, the adrenaline that came rushing forward in his very core, started to visibly vanish and was replaced with spite and poisonous venom. His throat clenched almost painfully in his windpipe. He swallowed in grief and it was unacceptable. He felt guilty yet unashamed, full yet hallow, satisfied yet incomplete. It was as if the contradictory emotions swirled in through his body. It was almost as if entertaining a dry sense of humor, testing his very sanity. He despised the contradictory feeling all the while more but what was even more frustrating and nagging behind this ridiculously dark circumstance was a feeling of apathy; something blank within his essence. He was quick enough to catch that empty feeling which vibrated alongside him in realization: No matter what happened afterwards, that was, no matter how many Tusken Raiders he would have murdered, how much he delighted in making all of them suffer, no matter the methods he used of destroying all responsible for her death, that would not bring back his dear mother’s life.

Shmi Skywalker was deceased and no matter how grand the desire within him was, she was never to return. The sole reason that made it more bearable and acceptable was that he at least got to see her one last time. One final time and he had to cherish her in his arms, almost to hear her utter the – “I love you” that he so much needed to hear one last time. She had died in his arms, in the arms of the child that she alone birthed, loved and cared for more than anything or anyone in the entire galaxy. It was a nightmare that only traumatized him for various and countless dark nights. He would wake up with a terrifying and bone chilling scream in the nights. Nights in which a beautiful woman would encompass him in her arms and lovingly sweep the sweaty hair on his face away. She would hum a tender and comforting song that made him relax onto her perfume and soft, smooth skin that he recognized all too well.

 

His lovely wife, Padme Amidala: Former queen of Naboo and now instated senator of Naboo, was the epitome of undeniable beauty. So much as to believe her to be an angel when he first met her all those years ago. He had been but a child with a hopeless crush, she was a teenager fated to more than likely end up with another around her age range. Her heart did indeed go with him, as her decoy of the queen of Naboo had ushered to him when he went looking for her to which she was sent to do errands.

  
As the years progressed, things changed and shaped much more differently. He hadn’t seen Padme in years before this reunion, but when he did lay eyes on her on that fateful trip to Naboo in which he and his Master: Obi-Wan Kenobi, were sent to defend the now senator: Padme Amidala from assassins whom were attempting to kill her to invade the Naboo and take over the small planet. He didn’t fail to see how many things seemed to change with the course of the years and life evolving from one stage to another, except her strikingly beautiful being. Her face was even more mesmerizing than the sight of diamonds, her silky skin glowed more radiant than pearls, he had the high suspicion that even the sun was jealous of how much she warmed all those lucky to stand next to her and the moon surely was envious of the fact that even at the darkest of times, she shone and sparkled more than any star, constellation, any moon the galaxy had to offer. A beauty that could not be summarized or described in words. The curls that escaped from her head which passed her long and slender shoulders had such detailed texture, her eyes as serene as he had recalled them years ago. She had him with that smile, wrapped onto her little finger. He had her with the way he looked at her, directly into her eyes. Although she denied him her love at first, time and unfortunate circumstances only tied them closer to each other until the inevitable…

  
“I love you, Anakin”

  
“You love me?” The only important moment that mattered was to be liberated when she had uttered those three forbidden words, she had said them in a moment of desperation and no hope. She had said those words as if to relieve herself of the burden she also carried within her. The kiss they shared was candid and passionate. Hungry and needy, he needed her. This instance was far too meager and too little to appease his desire for her. His eyes only sought Padme Amidala after the kiss was broken and their lives on the line, to be made an example and exhibition.

  
It wasn’t a surprise to see how they successful they had been, they managed to come out with their lives after the battle. The damage was done but Padme was safe, Obi-Wan was safe, most of the Jedi were also okay. They had a few casualties, but none were too extreme.

  
He was unsure of how things would proceed with her… now, they weren’t in present danger, she could quickly withdraw but Anakin would have none of it. He was very determined and the Hero With No Fear more than he was the Chosen one as Qui-Gon seemed adamant to believe. That is how both ended up accepting their feelings fully, totally and in complete accordance. That is how they realized they could not escape this fate, destiny was telling them that sometimes things are meant to be sacrificed for the good of all, and a lie was meant to keep their love together at the expense of a life riddled with secrets, She wore a goddess-like dress, white to signify her untainted purity, Her veil covered her amazingly beautiful face, she looked timid which was unlike her. He understood the foundation of it; after all, she was getting married to someone: A Jedi Knight, who was forbidden attachment. A marriage alone was a nerve-wracking commotion but add to it a secret they cannot let escape but themselves as the sole witnesses and the officiator. It was more trouble than to continue to live ignoring each other, but a life of ignoring each other’s existence would be a life full of pain and torment, causing agony or even insanity. He would surely be turned to a lunatic without her embrace, her loving kind words, her hushed whispers comforting him in those sleepless nights. He truly did not deserve her. He was almost convinced she was an angel sent from the Heavens, she was so soft, so welcoming, she was the person closest to home. She was love, more than anyone he’d loved.

  
Even in those moments that they got into heated arguments and he would not back down nor did she. Even in the worst of their moments when they would sleep on far apart sides of the bed, he knew that his mind was angered with her over any silly or stupid petty reason, but his heart pulled for her. Well, she was his inspiration, his loving and merciful goddess, she was his muse and he lived and died for Padme. In the middle of having to pretend, he longed and ached for Padme. On those nights he was sent for missions as knighted Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, his lungs still respirated that fading perfume of Padme, the oily essence of her lipstick against his lips and the smooth surface of her skin contrasting the slightly rougher patches of her perky nipples as he explored every inch and curve of her holy grail. He started to dislike the missions, they were a lot more thrilling before his marriage and union to Padme; they were also more bearable with his Master: Obi-Wan Kenobi. He still didn’t wish to be paired with him as much, feeling guilty looking at his Master: The perfect Jedi poster boy who followed the Jedi Code and his obligations to the minimum detail and knowing he tricked him right in front of his face. He fooled the Jedi council by hiding his marriage—an attachment no doubt, a romantic partner and his wife to the order. He was serving The Jedi all while not being able to serve should they were to ever find out and discover the secrets he hid. It was bad enough that the situation required for him to keep the truth from the Jedi High Council but to shield it from Obi-Wan was torturous…

  
Not only was he like an open book to Obi-Wan and he wasn’t an expert at hiding his emotions through their force bond, he had begun to think that perhaps his master had come to something but for some reason, never acted on his prediction or hunch. It was much harder to leave Padme when he had found out she was pregnant. It was a thrill and a shock to know he was to be a father, but a welcomed one. He could not take off the grin but groaned internally when not even a day after, he found his services were needed. He regrettably had to leave for Coruscant and far from Naboo, where his wife would be waiting for him, still willing to keep this secret. Now wearing robes that were a bit looser for her previously slender form. He held in his breath as her kiss stuck with him. Leaving a pregnant Padme for Force knows how long a never easy task was. He knew this was the life he had designated to when they both decided to continue with this secret that was completely forbidden and against the Code.

  
It came to a surprise to find out the dangerous and secret mission that his master was assigned to, a lengthy and perilous one for sure. He had only found out by stumbling on master Windu and master Yoda hashing worriedly about Obi-Wan Kenobi’s mission. He was given the mission to discover the identity of the New Lord of The Sith and report it immediately to the Jedi Council. After both Anakin and Obi-Wan crushed Darth Tyranous; the fragments of the former Jedi Master: Count Dooku, who was Obi-Wan’s grand master, having taught Qui-Gong Jinn, his master’s master. They only had managed to discover that the Sith Lord known as Darth Sidious was somebody in the Republic’s Senate. The mystery about who it was remained unclear, thus Obi-Wan was sent to investigate the mystery of the unknown senate impostor who was truly the phantom menace of this Sith Lord as Dooku had proclaimed. Needles to say, Anakin while glad to have stumbled on the conversation and being in the light of Obi-Wan’s current mission, he couldn’t help but worry… Why hadn’t they asked him to come with his master?...

  
XXX  
To be continued


	2. Chapter 1:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Phew! This chapter was sitting there just waiting for me to type it out since the longest but this summer I have been quite busy with my summer semester of college, work, and my social life. It's not been very helpful to getting my writing and typing game on. Here it is, alas. I hope it lives to my reader's expectation. Thanks for the comments and kudos they give me life and a reason to not give up and keep going! Don't hesitate to let me know what you think.

Chapter 1: Insanity at the door 

It was unexciting and anticlimactic for him to find out that instead of a mission, he would be assigned to a near baby sitting mission for his Padawan: Ahsoka Tano. She was assigned a mission that was intended for her to solidify her training. He internally groaned. Quite evidently, this time around he wouldn’t have his master’s help and co-counsel. It was especially irritating because more than likely, her meditation skills would be an emphasis and that was something he needed to master. Obi-Wan was the better of the two in that regard. Ahsoka could learn more from him, but he was sent to that mission…

Damn those Jedi High Council members! How could he be a member of the council and not be a master? That still left him feeling bitter and angered especially towards Mace Windu’s words. He was just holding Anakin back and relished in it. If it weren’t for that stupid and irrational decision of not making him a master, he could have even gone with Obi-Wan, help him find the impostor who hid behind a friendly figure and keep his master from harms way.

Remembering Obi-Wan and how dutifully he was tied to him already, made him feel guilty. The deception and trickery of Anakin as he lied to his master in front of his face was sickening. He felt shame and guilt flood its way onto his body but not without the conviction of not regretting his decision. His decision had been firm and planted; there was no going back, no matter what. This was only more solidified when his beloved wife had announced that she was pregnant with their love child. He had never recalled loving another being he had never met before like their child: the demonstration of their love giving life. The swollen belly was a proof of that same love.

He felt as if Mace Windu was just exacting his revenge on not allowing him to go with his master on that one important and perilous mission. And instead, as if it was a force laughing joke, he sent him to train with his padawan to a nearby temple. He was fuming but of course, he had to politely accept and dutifully follow the command. It wasn’t fair, here he was, babysitting his padawan and his master was one step away from being the Republic’s hero… whatever, Obi-Wan would **always** be the best _hero_.

The relationship between his master and him wasn’t the typical and conventional master-padawan relationship. No, in fact, after the padawan had passed the trials and became a Jedi Knight, that same relationship with his master would dissolve. However, Anakin could not bring himself to allow his master to do that nor much less do it himself. They both were terribly close, their relationship transcending the Master-Padawan relationship.

That rich and fulfilling bond with his master was nowhere near what it is now when they barely started. At first, it was strained because Obi-Wan’s master had selected to teach Anakin as his padawan learner before his untimely death on Naboo prevented him from doing so. That left Obi-Wan with not only a crushed heart, tears and anguish but with the promise uttered to his master of training the young boy.

That young boy his master had saved from a life of slavery and was adamant to believe him as The Chosen One. Obi-Wan was not convinced and Anakin could see through his anxiety, formed because of the loss of his master and having quickly become a Jedi Knight, because of his ability to hold his own and kill a Sith. He had to prematurely leave his Knighthood to plead Master Yoda to be allowed to train Anakin as he had promised and sworn to Qui-Gon Jinn’s memory. He had trained Anakin as such; with it came the heavy burden of training a much older than a typical Padawan, the weight of Anakin being The Chosen One and having to cope with the suddenness of it all hit him like a crushing wave, threatening to rupture his very being at the strong Force behind it all.

He had openly expressed his opinion on his master training Anakin and it wasn’t a good one. Those opinions and words always stung. However, Obi-Wan was a man of his word and did the best to his ability, which he insists isn’t as good as Anakin is willing to believe. He had very few, counted times of seeing a smile on that serious face of his master. Always sprouting a serious expression and hardly ever relaxed. Perhaps it was the fact that his master’s death had left him affected and deep down a sad, broken man? Perhaps he resented Anakin for stealing his master’s attention and stealing his knighthood years? Whatever the reason, at that moment, he decided the past mattered not anymore, **only this moment** seemed to matter to him.

Before he was aware of it, they had come to the way they were now. All natural and all yielding to the Force. The teasing, his master’s scowl showing non-approval towards Anakin’s antics nor methods of doing things (most of the time.) His master was almost as good as being sarcastic and snarky as he was good with the Force. Their relationship was one of unity and full of banter. Anakin laughed every time his master explained:

“You’re the reason my hairs are starting to gray!”

“I don’t know, master, blaming me about that when you’re just old?” The laughter escaping Anakin was loud and intentional. His shit-eating grin was one that his master did not appreciate.

“Ah, again with the old jokes? Don’t you have any better jokes, young brain?” The way he retorted so expertly made Anakin believe Obi-Wan was ready to use that line. He laughed alongside his master, jovially, all the cares of the world were lost.

He couldn’t exactly describe what he felt when he saw his master laugh so at peace and looked so relaxed next to him. It made Anakin feel as if he could breathe so much easier, made him feel everything was worth it, every moment leading to now. Purpose. Conviction. He was born for this. To witness this. Only his master **mattered.** This moment engraved in his memory forever, his master taking a full swig of his beer like the drunk he was (even if he always denied this.)

Anakin let him have the last laugh, after all, those pearly whites in that expression only brought him tranquility. At ease—liberated, released.

It seemed as though it was impossible to spend time with his master, as he announced he had to depart to his ever-long mission, that perfectly explained his dark circles around his eyes and the sigh he didn’t manage to stifle under his breath. Anakin smiled sadly.

“May the Force be with you, master” He uttered uselessly to his master.

“May the Force be with you as well, Anakin” Nothing else was exchanged. Nor should it have been expected to. Not the updated information of his new mission with Ahsoka. The only thought remained was that he wished for the Force to not be the only thing on Obi-Wan’s side. He longed to be at his master’s side.

When his heart didn’t long for Padme, then his mind wandered to Obi-Wan. It was only a natural order of things.

They were both his most treasured people. His wife and his master.

It was that same reason why his heart nearly threatened to force its way out of his throat, when he had been summoned to the Jedi Council meeting alongside all other Jedi Masters, him the only exclusion. This was a session of disaster. The information that Anakin had received was the worst possible: Obi-Wan Kenobi’s current status. He was in grave danger. They had recently received a transmitted hologram of his master; the message was incomplete, and the signal was lost instantly with no known location. From the replayed hologram, he could see the blood and pain in his master’s face. He had dealt with too much.

Anakin would gladly die for Padme but not _only_ her, he would in a heart beat die and sacrifice himself **_for_** Obi-Wan. Of course, his master would never die for anyone; only his ideals, only for the Jedi, only for the Code, for the greater good of all.

He was aggravated to know that Obi-Wan’s location was unknown, he couldn’t even detect his force signature. Nothing came from his side of their force bond, leaving a hollow feeling in his chest. Worse than that was the knowledge of nothing, the hologram was gone and their numerous tries to reach contact were in vain. The desperation surged within his very being, making his blood run cold. His insides felt sick and everything threatened to make him lose control as he realized he had **no** idea of Obi-Wan’s whereabouts, Obi-Wan’s current status, he had no idea about how Obi-Wan was faring, if he even had his life or not…

The mere thought of his master’s cold flesh and lifeless body laying somewhere unknown was enough to crawl anger and fury within him. Losing the composure, he feigned to have, shredded.

  
“How could you foolishly send him to a suicide mission?!” Send him to his death! You knew it was dangerous! I…I could have been with him—I… I could have saved him… I know I could have!” His outburst managed to shock most of the Jedi Council members, one of the few exceptions being Mace Windu, of course.

“You will be silent on this matter, Skywalker. Master Kenobi knew the entirety of the mission and decided to embark on it. He knew the risks and the consequences of them. It was a great honor for a great Jedi like himself. He decided to go alone on this mission-- his personal and only request.” Perhaps what further upset and fueled the Jedi Knight’s anger even more was the unemotional and calculated matter of fact tone that Mace Windu used to convey the message. He sounded so irresponsible for the current situation, he painted himself as if all of this was not for him to take the blame on, as if he could quickly cleanse himself and rid himself of the blame and guilty, it made Anakin’s blood boil.

He was as much of the rest of the Jedi Council **responsible** for his master’s fate.

“Still, I cannot, and I will NOT accept any of this. My master might go on about his duties and follow the Jedi Code to his death, but I do not care. That doesn’t mean I will… I do not agree with the Jedi Council’s decision at first nor wasting time idly when someone can go and save him. His mission means nothing if he’s not here to see it through. I will save my master” Of course the Chosen One would not falter. He had made that point quite clear before. In a fast and determined manner, his steps were starting to leave but suddenly—

“Just where do you think you are going, Skywalker?” The cold voice of Windu questioned after him.

“Is it not obvious enough? I will not stand by while my master’s life is in danger… I am going to him, I am going to find him, and I am going to save him from this mess that you all threw him into, I will bring him back, Obi-Wan will be safe!” The sheer force of his voice came a little bit with brute strength and conviction.

“Determined, the boy is. Entrusting him to bring back, Master Obi-Wan, we will. May the Force be with you. Farewell, we bid you” The gentle and non-menacing voice of Yoda was what put off Anakin the most, he expected more opposition to his hot headed and impulsive decisions. Mace Windu retracted softly, and even though he had a disapproving glance towards Anakin, looking as though he had plenty of more to say and discuss with Skywalker, completely not in agreement with Yoda’s decision but yielding to it all the same. He withdrew and said no more.

Anakin could not hide the ever-cheeky smirk in his face directed to the master who openly disliked and distrusted him before his mind forced him to change paths and look out to the horizon: to turn around and hope for a signal of life to track down his master, for Obi-Wan Kenobi to still be living amongst them and for the Force to still be prevalent in him.

As he ran, and ran with no direction in mind, he quickly pulled out his force bond with his master, desperate to feel anything—anything at all was better than… than the current emptiness that he felt suffocating him. His worries quickly growing even more, and he wanted not to feed into the pessimism that prevailed in the situation. Kriff, he hoped with all his heart that wherever his master was, that he was alive and with no serious injuries and minimal pain.

He found the only thing he needed to alleviate his current nightmare and his dread was Obi-Wan’s laughter, his serious and yet dazzling face, his arms crossed and a quirking eyebrow on his not approving face, that same rich Coruscanti accent, filling his ears with a lecture or with a heated argument. Anything at all was better than this—than the emptiness that gobbled him whole and that encased him to feel hopeless as well as hurting. Losing faith was dangerous…He could go mad _without_ him. He could **Fall** to the dark side if Obi-Wan ceased to exist…

His steps were hurried and with no direction, which was perhaps the worst part. _Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan._ He felt that this is what a mad man must be thinking. Insanity was so close to him, enveloping him like its prey. The only coherent thought in his mind was a name, the name of his master, like a prayer or a sutra. He only hoped, but would hope be enough to save his master? He attempted to release his frustration and anxiety into the force, but it didn’t salvage him.

_Obi-wan._

_Obi-Wan._

_Obi-Wan…_

_Force, please…_

When all started seeming lost and no hope left, he received what he never thought he would. He detected it. A slight bit only weakened was his master’s force signature. But it was there! He was desperately tugging towards Anakin’s force signature… Holding on and through that connection, Obi-Wan’s pain, his injuries and emotions were so vividly present in Anakin that he felt as if they were his own sufferings.

_Wait up, Obi-Wan,I’m coming for you, I’m saving you master… and I’ll make whoever did this to you suffer an entire lifetime… Hold on…Force, please keep him safe._

XXX

To Be Continued

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was that, at least after this one hopefully it will be getting faster paced. Poor Obi-Wan, let's hope he turns out okay. It is quite funny to me that even subconsciously and without even knowing it, the poor Skywalker Knight is already in love with his master, although obviously he loves Padme as well. Willing to die for both, obviously he loves them both equally.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of the Story is taken from Queen's single "I was Born To Love You"


End file.
